.Friday, November 28, 2008 ' 8:21 PM Y
miss(understood)
today went sch for meeting..missed de morning lectures..haiss..nxt wk 2 ICAs and 3 tests..bio, stats and de most scary one is sklls!! though i owaes looked calm..but doesnt mean i dun gif a damn abt it..i just..dun show tad i am actually anxious abt it too? i dunno man i cant show it out..wad for anw? can u ease my anxiousness? in de exam field..inside my heart it's actually very messy! like wadeva u studied and memorised..when u get in it's all messed up and de sequence will be all gone..hahahaa..but my frens actually told mi tad i looked damn confident..LOL..contradicting..
halfway tru de meeting i went off..nidda meet up wid mummy n Hui to see gong gong..he's in de nursing home..everytime we go there..there will be 7 compulsory qns..
1) today no school ar? (ans: got, sch ended already/ now sch hols)
2) where u all come from? (from home/ sch)
3) how u all come? (oh take mrt then walk in)
4) (then he will still ask...) then aft mrt take bus ar? or walk? (yes we walked in)
5) far or not? (erm...ok lahh..) >>actually is damn far lor!!!!! but nvr tell him la..
6) where am i? tampines? (no this is simei)..ohhh..my brain not good..i dun even noe when i am..keep forgetting >>poor thing :(( ok de good thing is that at least he noes tad he cant rmb things..
7) xiao jie lehh? >>that's my bro..they called him tad.. (erm he's busy today..he will come de nxt time..)
hais..every visit he WILL ask these few qns AGAIN N AGAIN N AGAIN..not tad im pissed wid it..just feeling..it's quite poor thing..dun even rmb if he asked these qns b4..u can ans him n aft abt 10 min he will ask u again..de same few qns..u can even predict wads de nxt qn he will ask..this goes on n on n on..it's so sad..n he nvr fails to ask where bro is..and bro nvr get de time to see him even once in de nursing home..not that he doesnt want to go la..but owaes de timing dun telly well enuff..and it's so bad tad we haf to tell him tad he's busy..haiss..dey dote on hm since young..cos he is their first grandson..although it's daughter's son..but it's their first one ma..eldest grandson..of cos keep playing wid him..bringing him here and there..doted on him most..yar hopefuly bro really go n visit him soon..tskk..
this pict taken during meeting..was Yana's keychain toy..haha..so cute rite? elmo's body is compressed..in short..FLAT..hahahahhaaaa..
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this is a little girl in de mrt i took just now..she's so cute..as in like i saw her holding 2 small flowers probably picked up along de pathways..this reminds mi of Hui who used to do this when she was young too..and she'd always bring it to mummy..hahahaa..sweet rite? so cute..
her little hand holding on 2 little cute flowers..so cute and innocent :))
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then her most probably grandfather was carrying her..later they sat down..de sun shone on her face..then her grandfather block off de sunlight using his body..man..i wished someone will block it off for mi too..ahahhaa..so sweet :)
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oh yar i wana complain lorr..just now in de morning on my way to de library i DROPPED MY PRECIOUS FONE!!!!!!!!! wad de hell man..TSKKKK!!! hais heart broken to bits n bits n bitsssss..good thing tad it doesnt appear terribly hurt..hahaa..if not i will start killing pple!! lol..
alrite i nidda say this..i noe it wasnt Regina's fault for scaring de hell outta mi by calling mi n tads y i dropped my fone..yes it's obviousy not her fault n i DID NOT BLAME HER..get this freaking right..i APPEAR to be angry is cos 1st i dropped my fone..n when i called her back..de main thing i wana noe is WHERE DE HELL ARE U GUYS HOLDING DE MEETING? n wad kinda ans do i get? "u come sch for wad?" wad do u mean by tad? i cant come? even if there's no sch n im coming to haf..a lunch? in sch..tads gonna be my problem (btw i dun do tad..it's a little extreme for mi)..
i dun like pple to ask mi stupid qns! just like my sista in de past n tad makes mi freaking pissed..n i owaes scold her for asking mi dumb qns..yepp she noes i disliked her in de past..now we're like glue..cos she's FREAKING STUPID!!!!! n when she asked stupid qns i dun bother to qn..yes the same thing applys..esp when im angry..freaking dun ask mi stupid qns! i do WHAT i wana do..
then when i reached de library my face is freaking black..n btw tads just 1% of my anger..cos i cooled down aft 5min in de lib..den Yana asked mi y my face black black..n dint say much cos i noe i cant put de blame on anyone but for myslf for being clumsy..later i cooled down Yana askd mi..so who called u n made u dropped ur fone? Shannen told her it was Regina..tads y previousy Yana asked mi tad qn i dint ans her..it's so tensed luhh..if i said it's Regina isnt it obviously telling everyone tad she's de one im putting de blame on? so i explained to Yana n Shannen was beside listening..n guessed wad Shannen said? "so it wasnt Regina's fault wad!!" i replied, "of cos i noe! n i did i even mention anything abt myslf blaming her?" am i stupid? tads y i dint say out Regina's name when u guys all looked at mi waiting for my ans isnt it? walao eh!
even if i wana be unreasonable n put de blame on Regina..it's gonna be REGINA'S AND MY PROBLEM..who are u to put in ur foot n question mi? freaking pissed..everyone has their own temper..if u see tad person is angry dun purposely ask so much and try to be a loyal fren by questioning n angering another..i feaking hate it..n i noe i've been using 'freaking' this word many times..cos im DAMN PISSED!!!! of cos now im feeling much better..but not in some other areas..
btw i forgot to apologise n clarify with Regina..she must have thought tad im angry wid her too..alrite i admit, for that fers 5 min im angry wid her cos of tad dumb reply..not cos of her call tad makes my fone drop..eh sorry ar Reina..if u're reading..haha.. noe it's a little un-sincere to ask for forgiveness here..but u shld noe tad im not angry wid u abt tad fone dropping thing ba? im not, ok! :))
anw mi n Reigina's relationship dint turn sour even aft tad misunderstanding..we still laugh abt n went home tgt aft meeting just now..yar she's not as narrow minded as someone else..like...mi?? hahaha..im one of dem i haf to admit..once u stepped on my tail for no good reason..tads it for u! black-listed for life..unless under special circumstances..we must try to be forgiving though it's not easy..so there's a 'U-TURN' in my dictionary..but but but..for certain stuff only :D forgive can try..but forget..no matter how hard i tried..just cant do it..so..sry for pple who once chopped off my tail even aft i tried to fix it back..i just can forget..
just now i smell some medicated oil..then saw mummy applying it on her foot..i asked her if she's hurt or something..she said just a little..probably walked too much today..and then saw her lying on de bed when it's just 9 plus..n she dun slp tad early..i asked if she's tried and if nid mi to off de lights for her to slp..but she said she's not slping yet..then i noe something's weird again..she's emo-ing again..haiss..so there goes my counselling session..i dun like mummy to be emo..cos it does influence mi..in future if emo emo like her how sia?
i asked why does she sound so unhappy..n if she has any worries again..she said no..i then saw her eyes like got tears..then i asked why is she crying? is she in pain? is it financially again? is it daddy made u angry or sad again? or isit any of us made u angry again? all no..then y are u crying????? "im not crying..im just tearing.." dots alrite why? she said im de only one in this entire hse who will ask her y does she seems sad n y is she crying..any troubles or worries again? are u hurt? etc..erm..shld i put it this way..im more observant than de other 2?
sometimes i think over n over abt wanting to ask her or not b4 i actually ask her abt it..cos i dun want ltr it's actually me myslf who angered her and i ask her myslf abt it..isnt it like banging my own head on de wall i bulit? alrite but it's better to ask than to let her keep emo-ing n all of us has to suffer wid her..keep having question marks above our heads.."ehh who made her angry ar? u isit? or u?....mi mehh? i nvr lehh..i dun rmb doing anything to anger her..WHO SIA? ohhhhh daddy!!!!" anyhow bomb only...hahaha..
alrite anw in de end she told me n i counselled her..even if i cant actaully really solve her problems..at least i helped her by de-stressing..so she haf no chance to accumulate n got no where to vent..if dun do regular psychological check-ups..n de volcano errupts, tads it man!! all of us noe how scary it is yea? a listening ear or a crying shoulder can help..u dun haf to say something..just maintain de eye contact to show tad u are listening..n u ARE really listening..
alrite tads all for now..btw b4 i end..i haf to declare one thing..that..this is MY BLOG..de main thing is to share wad eva i want to..in short..i dun gif a damn if i offend anyone through my post..this is a medium where i say wadeva i wana say and wadeva i feel abt somthing..as i said this is MY blog..i say again..MMMYYYYYYYY..n i dun gif a shit! im proud im arrogant! SOOO? i hate pple who are like tad..but it doesnt mean tad i cant be like this..becos i am like this..so i dun like pple ard mi to be even more proud n arrogant than mi..i like humble pple..so hopefully i can get influenced..so dun eva step on my tail..n i haf 9! try stepping on all of dem..u'll be dead b4 u noe it! so betta beware..
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